why do ya have to be that guy?

Why is it that "that guy" always makes an appearance when you're having a good time and don't want to deal with them?
"That guy" is the guy who you used to like but wanted nothing to do with you after you shared some oh so special drunken moments at a Frat party. "That guy" thinks it's appropriate to corner you at a party, ask you about your single status, and ask you take a walk outside with him. Keep in mind that you brought a guy, that you think is one of the coolest things since sliced best, and he's standing right next to you with, looking perplexed. "That guy" comes back inside and asks you why you didn't come outside...um, duh! Then tells you that he was stupid for never calling, saying crazy things to you at the bar a while back, and being a freak in general---why.why.why....
Men are stupid at times and a necessary evil, but I love them. Fuckers! HEHE!
The sliced bread guy is better and he looks good covered in red paint.

there is blood everywhere...

Halloween party yesterday...it was a good one. The cops even came by to kick us to the curb. Keep in mind that all of us are 25 and didn't drive there. This poses a bit of a problem for the popo who have kicked us out of the house into the street where we are much louder and the next cab comes in an hour. I think this is funny, so funny in fact that I walked about 3 miles home in my halloween costume, no worries there were a few of us.

I was a brain donor and I kept losing the brain I was carrying. Johnnie was a brain surgeron, he was covered head to toe in red acrylic paint. Red acrylic paint peels off after about 6 hours and sheds everywhere. Everywhere. There is paint in my nose, on my couch, in the sink, everywhere in my apartment. Ahhhh!

Oh and Missy gives the okay on hanging with Johnnie...thanks!

quote 'o day

"I bought a TV from my grandma's dead neighbor"

So...were they dead before or after you hiked their TV?

different than I imagined...

David Gray writes and sings some amazing music...

However, it is difficult to watch him sing, he does this crazy thing with his head. Yikes!

something new!

I have spent more than 3 hours in my home today...and I was able to come home before 1 am! Yeaa!

All I wanted to do was watch the White Sox win the world series. I am not usually a Sox's fan but they get geographical bias. But my goal is hindered because my flipping TV keeps turning off and I refuse to buy a new one. I have traveling to do, things to eat and besides I promised myself that I wasn't buying a new one until I could get one that I hung on the wall. Oh, yea! Looks like I am stuck with this one for the next 14 years!

searching for a vision

You know that feeling when you work so hard for something, someone, somewhere; you put all your spare energy into it and it gets crushed over and over and over and over again. You start to think, what the hell am I doing? Wouldn't life be easier if I just went with the flow? Didn't fight so hard? Didn't believe something different from others? If I kept my mouth shut? If I just walked away? What would life be like? What if I was a cheerleader for the popular cause? Would I be a less tortured soul?

It's been a busy week, month, year, decade, life and small bit of apprehension about things has arisen lately. I am working under the assumption that pilates, coffee, this blog and sleep will keep my journey on a straight path.

I was reminded today of a day not so long ago when one of my heroes left unexpectantly. I didn't know them personally, nor had I ever met them. They just seemed to have great ideals and fostered them, for the better of the Minnesotan, American and world citizen. I am sure that this person had flaws but he had a great vision and a great ability to inspire vision in others. It is disheartening that this man was not with us longer, for the benefit of young people who seem to be struggling with the direction of our great profession, city, county, state and nation. Rest in peace Mr Wellstone...

“The future will not belong to those who sit on the sidelines. The future will not belong to the cynics. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” --Paul Wellstone

Avian flu vs dealing with "real" life...

Read....

there should be a disclaimer...

There should be a disclaimer and a photo album of all the horrible things that happened to people who do METH!
I don't do it...but evidently a bazillion people do and it ruins, RUINS their lives! Where did this public health/crime/economy/american issue writing stem? Interdisciplinary speakers today: nurse with meth-head son, recovering meth-head, county deputy and united way rep. I learned things that I didn't want to know, that made my stomach turn, that made me what do cry...

What should the disclaimer include: pictures of picking, meth mites, meth mouth, before and afters of meth-heads, small childrens exposure... A listing of the noxious chemicals that you are putting in your body and how they are handled in the chem lab. Stories and things that will happen to you: nothing will ever bring you pleasure again, you will never feel as good as you did on your first high, your teeth will fall out, you might drill your teeth out with a DeWalt drill, you might pick off your own flesh with a tweezers, you might kill someone for meth or money for meth, you WILL lose everything that you have (family and materials) eventually. Is that enough?

We were told that 100% of the homicides in St. Louis Cty involved Meth...that is crazy! And incredibly terrible.

Think about this before you think a high with meth would be a good idea or the next time you see that person at the gas station who looks like they haven't eaten in 4 weeks, have black teeth and are only 20 years old.

inappropriate behavior!

This is my rant about inappropriate behavior that I have seen displayed by pharmacy professional. I am sure that other professional are guilty of this as well so insert whatever field you may.

When is it appropriate to "attack" the presenter in front of their peers or the audience that they have just present their material? Never. Ever. Unless they are going to kill someone with their said judgement and presentation material, I find that that rarely happens.

I have seen several "professionals" forget this very important presentation etiquette or common sense as I like to call it. It happened tonight, again. Why is it always the same people? They make me feel incredibly ashamed to be associated with their school, profession, and passion. Why do they always have to introduce themselves, their title and associated pharmacy or the College of Pharmacy with their name? Why can't you just remain the crazy mo-fo who is totally out of line by stating their opposition to the presentors beliefs/materials in front of the crowd? Why? Why? Why? I feel sorry for your lack of regard for others and your ballooning self-esteem that is bordering on grandiosity.

Sit down and think before you attack others in a public forum. This is not politics and your opinion of their presentation was not asked for; save your commentary for them for a private moment.

big nerd on vacation

It's saturday..well, sunday now. It is fall pharmacy break. I think they believe that the second years heads might explode if they are not given a few days off. A theory that I would tend to agree with. I did not go out. I have not had a beer or martini. I do not have a date. I am making tapioca pudding, surfing the web and trying to get the motivation to study. It has been an incredibly busy break, which is stinky because all I wanted to do was sleep until 4 pm. Shopping, drinking martini's, college football games, family gatherings, late night dates, long drives, pharmacy competitions...have all taken precidence. In all that fog I won a trip to Las Vegas-ASHP convention to compete in the Clinical Skills Competition and got to hang with Auntie C. Wooohooooo!

respect...gentlemen pay attention!

Some people have the ability to command the great respect with simple common sense acts. Here is an great example.

Gentlemen...when you kiss a girl, you will command so many more bonus points if you don't try to grope and off all of the clothes that said girl is wearing. Unless that was the intention of the "activity" However, keep this in mind on a first or first few dates--remember...bonus points.

huh?

Med Agents professor keeps spelling Hormonal...Harmonal! This is not a song and I don't think those words are synomous. Yes, I am posting during class because I am still pissed about failing my exam and I have no idea what this guy is saying....

I failed...

I failed that psych therapy test like nobodies business. It took me nearly the entire time to take, which is rare. I am always the first one done...Ben, Loren and I race. This does not lend itself to the best grades but it works out okay, the dean liked it. It was written for a med student I am sure. I am not in the business of diagnosising your mental illness, I help to make sure you are getting optimal treatment. Is it necessary that I know how a CT/MRI/PET/fMRI and how they work, it wouldn't know what to do with them if I saw them. Pharmacist does NOT equal radiologist. Pharmacist is not synomous with psychriatrist. I can tell you all the drugs/side effects/CYP p450 interactions/drug combos/how to optimize your therapy for schizo/bipolar/depression/anxiety/adhd...but did you ask me those questions...Fuck no! Therefore, I failed an exam because you were confused about my future profession. I need a drink...but no, I still have a full day of torture left.

throw up a little...

There is a template for blogger that makes one's blog pink. It is not a soft pink, but pepto bismol pink. It makes me want to vomit. You may have the greatest blog and most intellectual things to say but I can't stand it, I can not read it. It burns my eyes...

note to you...

FYI--I have a site meter...so, if you visit here more than 10 times per day it freaks me out. I am not that interesting, just crazy. I appreciate your visits but I only post once daily, usually in the middle of the night to avoid studying. Thanks...peace out.

too much stuff...

there are too many things to do and i don't want to do this anymore. what is this? studying. psych disorders are difficult and have drugs that do a million things and can be used for all disorders with certain criteria....ahhhh! what would i rather be doing...

• sleeping
• hanging out with the cute boy i recently came across at a concert
• watching tv
• not sitting in my office studying
• socializing
• hanging with my friends...i have about a 100 sex in the city episodes to watch
• eating yummy food....mashed potatoes comes to mind
• nothing, absolutely nothing
• running...getting chunk-o-rella...need to burn calories
• movies...i am so behind
• take some photos

In summary i would like to sleep, eat, socialize and exercise

Druggist and study design

I would like to read more about the study design for this article...it seems abit fishy to me. Also, we are not "druggist's", it is disheartening that one of us refers to themselves as this. How old is this person or are they just insanely detached from the profession.

Fortune cookies

"our life is the creation of our mind" --in bed?

don't the fortune cookie makers know this urban rule...this doesn't make sense.

Biopharmaceutics antics

I cannot keep this craziness to myself any longer...

My pharmaceutics professor is an absolutely wack-job. He is so smart but has a severe case of ADHD. When he says something crazy I like to write it down in the margins of my notes. I have been diligently studying for my exam on Friday and keep coming across them, so I will share them with you...all my "regular readers" hehe! Joanna-you can see him saying these can't you!

1. Calorado--wrong vowelage dude!
2. Spidey sense--how does that relate to sun screen?
3. crap-i knew you where going to ask that question!
4. fabulous and despicable in the same breath!
5. I am going for english fashion statement, socks with sandals--huh?
6. you should be on the desktops shouting! What? Why?
7. Favorite toy as a child was a stick that I peeled the bark off--how does that relate to the laryngeal jet?
8. Sorry no sport coat today, I think my shoulders are getting bigger.

I learn next to nothing in this class because I should already know most of this from kinetics, physiology and drug delivery random acts of torture I have already endured. However, I just go for the craziness of it all.

new music finds...

Love, love, love music. I am a music whore. Oh, that sounds bad. Any-who....Brendan highlights this band, so I checked them out and they are A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

can i have my nail bed back?

Busted a nail today, so had to go in for maintenance much sooner than anticipated. First off, I don't like how these guys do my nails, they are always crooked. But it's cheap so why am I complaining. Oh yeah, while they nail dude is talking his phone in a undiscernable language with a tool that looks like something out of Star Wars, he rips my nail off down to the nail bed. UMMMMMM, OWWWWEEEE! So he decides that this probably isn't the best way to deal with the acrylic monster...He gets the rest the stuff off the others and is upset because I don't want acrylic on the nail that is throbbing and could, at any moment explode. Seriously, anaerobic bacteria here we come. I was born with an opposable thumb for a reason...not so I could lose it to the acrylic nail demons.

new function for speakerphone

Prank calls from the computer...we called this kid down the hall about 8 times...all different people. My side hurts from laughing...

The best ones are Napolean Dynamite, OfficeSpace and ARNOLD....

culture of the cafeteria

Decided to study in the expansive cafeteria this evening. It's quiet and has a giant TV if I so choose to be distracted. My people roam through here on their way to somewhere...my campus is a giant maze of connected buildings. This provides protection from the unbearable cold in the winter and a bizarre clothing selection in the winter (ie. flipflops and shorts). Anyway, I would say that 95% of the wanderers and eaters are grubby, skateboard-like dudes. Which makes me think that my brothers mop of a haircut isn't so rare and possibly fashionable. I happened to notice this last night at the concert too. Long haired, skinny boys who's pants were to big. Cute in their own right and they aren't usually so self-absorbed that they don''t have a clue what's going on in the world...wow! Intelligent conversation is equivalent to long hair....probably not.

holy crap this is me...

I wear them to Target, to the grocery store, in the car, on the bus, hiking; everywhere it is not illegal. I helps me focus on the task at hand; not the screaming children, maniac on the bus behind me, things that go bump in the woods...it's just me and my music. Perhaps the nostalgia of this will wear off and I will return to the world of clatter, but not today.

bands...

Two great Minnesota bands in two great days...

1. Root City last night at the TAP room. A really disgusting smoky place...but a step up from the Twins Bar where they used to play. The greatest thing about this band is the cowbell player who also puts out a mean beatbox...I'm in love. The keyboard player also a hottie...so we asked him to take of his clothes...no dice. The saxophonist plays beautiful music and he lives next door to one of the first years. She can hear him singing in the shower...
2. Trampled By Turtles tonight at Pizza Luce. This band rocks--rock music with a celtic undertone. It makes me wish I was in RiverDance--so I try to pretend on the dance floor.

Getting back to studying now...

snow and sandals

First day of snow; big, gobbery drops of snow blazing from the sky. These blazing flakes are no match for the sandals I strapped on today. I am going to loss a foot size due to loss of toes.

I am NOT grown up, see....

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those freaking
kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen
and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces,
"I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one
sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save
your sorry old butt.

heavy heart

listening to Bruce Springsteen's City of Ruins and reading this gentleman's blog....

how will this region ever, ever recover...

my heart is so heavy for these poor, strong people who have lost everything...

don't forget about them, they still need your prayers...

the media does not do this incredulous disaster justice...

personal stories are the tearjerkers...

they make you think about what you have and cherish

they make you think about your mortality, because you have it.

All will be well.

I have two warm fuzzies for today...

1. Gathered in the reading room (ie. loud study lounge)...listening to Jason and Phil play the guitar. It was so relaxing and such a pleasant break in the day. Convince Jason to learn a Kenny Chesney song...one from the island music CD. It is such a fabulous CD...it takes all your cares away and replaces them with sand.
2. Lab supervisor assured me that it is normal that I don't know what to do with my life and that I have all the tools and the ambition to do whatever...just pick a direction...you can always go back. sigh. All will be well.

cruel

Missing the bus...twice!

I have a PROBLEM!

I am addicted. Yes, addicted to fun...

Is there a 12 step program? Here are some ideas...

1. Admitting you have a problem...
2. Finding like minded people, who also like fun
3. Have a drink because you are not alcoholics
4. Realize that you can dance without being wasted
5. Make a list of all fun things and stop doing them
6. Another drink due to depression
7. Find fun-sponge friends, let them suck away your fun spirit
8. Clean closet and get rid of party clothes
9. Throw away bar cigarettes
10. Drop cell phone and ID in the lake and walk away
11. Stop smiling at cute boys
12. Drive the speed limit!

Whew! That was scary, don't think I will be doing any of those things.

quadra-pod member

This is Jason...great friend of mine. This pic is from a Garrison Keilor cruise talent show, where he won second place singing a Bob Dylan song. A remember if no shot glasses are available when it is your turn...you can take them off of his chest!

A great bonus in a friend!

unusual events

manhole covers are blowing off of well...manholes. What would cause such an event? Copious amounts of rain. No joke it has been raining hard for 2 days with no end in sight. And tomorrow snow, blowing, fricking cold snow! Yea! This weather phenom has caused the local wildlife to go a bit crazy. A bear cub climbed at telephone pole today 2 blocks from my house. Yes, I live in downtown of a relative metropolis and yes, I did say bear! He was saved, the power company came and got him. Are power crews trained to rescue bear cubs? And if so, what other animal rescues do they have in their arsonal? Just curious.

relax the snow is coming :(

It is a widely known fact that I love my music. I also love listening to thunderstorms, the rain, and the water racing down the hill on the way to the lake. Now imagine....being able to hear the rain on the window and the thunder as an undertone to music in the headphones while grading papers. Ahh, it's heaven!

The downside...I am at school without an umbrella and there are cats and dogs falling from the sky. I can not stand the feeling of wet clothing on my back, it gives me goose bumps.

Another bummer...it is supposed to snow on Wednesday. I despise snow. It would be a wonderful, beautiful thing if I didn't live on the side of a cliff without a garage and in a city with archaic snowplowing measures. Yes, we live in a snow savvy state. However, my city does not allocate funds properly, so parking gets very hairy in the winter, because half the spots are occupied by snow banks. Oh, it is making me queasy talking about this.

on my way

...to being a brother? Pledged Kappa Psi, but I think I've already lost my pin...whoops!

a recap

Here's a weekend recap just in case you (me) forgets why you are so damn tired...

1. margarita's with allison and company
2. six episodes of "SexintheCity"
3. Brewhouse
4. kinky underwear story
5. red bull/vodka's
6. stretching of the guidelines under the DJ booth
7. stretching the guidelines on a parked car
8. 3 hours of sleep
9. 8 hours of work
10. dancing like a crazy person
11. being DD
12. Potato Oles
13. blow-dryer that only blows cold air-not cool!
14. 8 hours of work
15. weird neighbored pulled my laundry again
16. study, study, study....

seven bridges road in the fall

compassion...

I was paid a wonderful and disturbing compliment today by one of the head pharmacists in my department. He stated that he saw himself in me. In that, I have so much drive, so much compassion and epathy for others and put that above almost anything else that I do. Even on three hours of sleep you run like a well oiled machine and will be an incredible worker--that is a whole 'nother story.

In the next breath, he challenged that I would always be this way. That my desire to help patients and make sure they get what they need, would somehow waiver. As if it is some disallusion that I hold of the profession. Do I know that working in a practice that allows me to work with patients and use all of that knowledge they are feverishly cramming into my head will be hard to come by? And hard to build? And incredibly rewarding? And a fight every step of the way? Hell yea!

It is so distressing to me that a practicing pharmacist would challenge this of me. He doesn't know me very well. He does not know the certain death that will find me if I work for Walgreen's, or any such retail devil. Seriously, I have friends who have been told to kill me.
I have always been compassionate, pharmacy just gives me a way to practice. Do I think that I have a skewed view of things? No, I just know what can be done to people and try harder. Do third party payors suck? Hell, yea. But they make patients lives much easier if they work correctly, so take the time to call them. Direct them in the direction of patient assistance if they may need it. These are not difficult things.

Being a pharmacist was never about the money and never will be. I want to do this because making a patient smile and knowing that they recieved what they needed, makes my day, my week, my month. It makes me.