bad wednesday

have been crying for a few hours on and off. my head is pounding. my eyes are unable to open all the way. it feels like there is moss growing inside my swollen nose. brian williams makes me cry. my best friend just left with the last of his belongings. i just lost a best friend. every where i turn there is a memory. i think i thought this would be easier. i should have picked a different route. evidently others knew we weren't getting along, thanks for telling me. why are all of my friends out of town at the fair or sleeping. i think i am dehydrated. i feel like a wimp. crying sucks. realization that i may be unable to be and stay happy for extended periods of time. realization that that totally blows. america is going down the toilet along with my world...fan-fucking-tastic.